Someone told me recently that, when asked what women want for Mother's Day, the responses of men and women are very different. Most men believe what women really want for Mother's Day is to spend time with their children. What most women say they really want is to spend time without their children.
I am splitting the difference - I am spending some of the day with my son and some of the day without him. I haven't decided what I will do with the alone time, but I am really looking forward to it. However, he is at an age that spending time with him is not that hard. He is on his second nap of the day, therefore allowing me time to blog. During the first nap, he allowed me time to run to Starbucks for some coffee and catch up on my New Yorker reading. Not a bad Mother's Day at all.
I bet that if you were to ask the same question about what men really want for Father's Day, the answers from both genders would be, in general, to spend time without the children.
The other Mother's Day topic that struck me today was an article in the Opinion section of the Journal Star entlted, "Working Moms Still Treated Poorly." As if that is breaking news. Being a working mother myself, and the daughter and granddaughter of working mothers, I thought this article was very interesting. I will let you all read it for yourselves, but the essential conclusion was "On Mother's Day 2007 there is still a deep-seated bias that puts the image of a 'good mother' at odds with that of an 'ideal worker.'"
In general, I would agree with this, although I am sure there are exceptions. But in the traditional professions (such as the practice of law), it is still difficult to be respected as a professional and a mother. Most working mothers that I know balance the two fairly well. However, most do it by essentially leaving their motherhood at the office door.
I wonder if it is easier now than when my mother had me more than 30 years ago and went back to work full-time. Or, when my grandmother re-entered the work place when her children were still in school. I will have to ask my mother when I call her today.
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3 comments:
My father asked what we were doing this weekend and I answered that on Sunday I would be doing stuff with the kids and/or doing whatever my wife says.
He didn't understand this one bit. "But it's mother's day" he blurted out "the children should be with their mother."
"No," I said, "Mother's Day means Mother can do whatever the hell she wants. She is with her kids 24/7 for the other 264 days of the year."
Dad: "Well, all your mother wants to do is to spend time with her family"
Me: "That's because I don't live with her."
Dad: "Oh, even when you were young that's all she wanted to do on Mother's day"
My wife after I told her this story: "Your Dad is clueless."
Yes, I know.
(ah crud, that would be 364, not 264)
PI, Glad you clarified that. I was wondering where your wife went that other 100 days... and wondering if I could join her? (I could use a break from the kids and hubby, too)
PH, good luck with your blog. It's interesting to hear another mother's perspective on things.
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