Normally, I wouldn't blog about my health problems so much, but since my hacking cough has pretty much taken over my life and I can't think because of the pain in my head, I'm obsessing.
Anyway, I finally got into the doctor this afternoon and, surprise surprise surprise, the help was not helpful.
Symptoms: sore throat, hacking cough, runny nose, fever, sinus headache, voice loss, ear ache, general crabbiness and extreme bitchiness (OK, those last two may be chronic conditions).
Treatments:
(1) Stop Talking.
Seriously, the doctor wants me to stop talking.
I probably don't need to explain how impractical this is for me. But I will because I am on full tilt rant right now.
First, I have two children under the age of three. And, try as I might to ignore their needs, they just don't care for themselves independently, dammit. Also, surprisingly, they don't respond to hand signals or the red marker on dry erase board technique of parenting.
Second, I'm a lawyer. I would cease to exist if I couldn't talk. Sure, I could send out even more bitchy written correspondence than I already do, but it really doesn't have the same effect as leaving nasty voice mail messages. And how would I tell my fellow lawyers my opinions of their pressing legal problems?
Third, I'm me. I'm verbal, for crying outside. I like to talk. I like to express myself. I'm not able to not talk. If no one is around, I talk to myself and inanimate objects. I talk to my car. I talk to my computers. I frequently talk to the phone (after I have hung up after talking with a stupid person - usually this is just one word: asshole.)
(2) A short course of antibiotics to protect the children.
To protect the children? They are the little shits who gave this to me in the first place!! Actually, the little shits who gave this to me are the children who attend their school whose parents apparently don't believe in keeping their kids home when they are sick. Protect those little shits? Puhlease!
And, to top it all off, the doctor is not exactly sure what is infected that requires antibiotics. Sinus? Maybe. Respiratory? Maybe. Ears? Maybe. But this will cover them all. Great.
Anyway, there was one good point - the whole experience took less than an hour (including my travel time to the office from my office and back.) At least I didn't have to take more sick time.
If I hadn't killed all of my productive brain cells by coughing so much, I would go on a rant about the state of health care in our country. But I just don't have the energy. Maybe tomorrow when my wonder co-therapies of silence and augmenten have worked.
Yeah, right.
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5 comments:
Sick or not, you're funny. Hope you get feeling better.
I feel your pain. I've had doctors tell me to quit talking before because of a horrible cough and my voice coming in and out for several weeks. I'm in inside sales. I probably talk on the phone 50-80 times a day. And anyone that knows me KNOWS I'm not able to be quiet for very long.
My favorite one is "you need to rest." Try resting with a house full of preschool children! Sometimes I think these doctors come from another planet! I hope you finally start to feel better!
Did you tell him you are a lawyer? Actually, I try not to let doctors know that one about me...I'm afraid they won't treat me as they'd be afraid of being sued. That may be the only time I am quiet. :)
And thus we continue to perpetuate antibiotic resistance by throwing antibiotics at infections that likely don't need them.
(SIGH)
You've got an upper respiratory infection. Essentially, we docs have nada that gramma doesn't have in her arsenal. For the common cold, all the OTC drugs are crap and nothing prescription does any better.
Unless you've got strep throat, an ear infection, pneumonia, or influenza within 48 hours of symptom onset, I've got nothin' that works better than a much tastier set of placebos.
Best solutions: Hot soup. Steam. Saline nasal spray (or, if you're brave, saline nasal washes). A teaspoon of honey for the cough and sore throat.
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