I Am Not A Crook!

One of the best parts of having young children is to make them say things that are hilarious coming from a two year old's mouth. Sometimes things are just funnier when they come from kids.

Not surprisingly, a lot of our funnier moments come in the bathroom. I have two very small bathrooms in my house and, more often than not, I am joined in the bathroom by two kids, a large dog, and a cat. Many funny things happen in the bathroom and this weekend was no exception.

I was in one of the bathrooms fixing my hair and both kids were in the bathroom with me. They were playing with the various headbands and hair elastic bands I have looped around the door knobs in the bathroom. My son managed to get one headband around his head, across his forehead - hippie style, with curls sticking out the sides. My daughter joined suit and said, "Look it, Mama!!"

I looked down and said, "Well, if you are going to be hippies, you have to learn how to say Peace." and I showed them the two-fingered peace symbol. My daughter was confused because the two finger gesture is also how you count two and since she is two-almost-three, she has been obsessed with showing me two fingers and three fingers.

Me: (showing two fingers) say, "Peace!"

Son: Eace! (he has problems with beginning consonants)

Daughter: That's two!

Me: It is also "Peace!" Say "Peace!"

Daughter: (holding up two fingers on each hand) Peace!

Me: Well, if you are going to do it that way . . . you have to say this (doing my best Richard Nixon imitation and holding out two fingers on each hand), "I'm not a crook!"

Silence and blank stares.

Me: See, if you have out two hands doing Peace, you have to say, "I'm not a crook!" So, say it. "I'm not a crook!"

More silence and blank stares.

Me: "I'm not a crook!"

Daughter: Yes you are.

Oh, if she only knew how funny that really is.