There's a Whole Lotta Sass Going On

Sass is a big issue in my house. I have a three year old who excels at being sassy and gets relatively frequent time-outs for her sassy behavior. I tend to define sassy behavior as inappropriate sounds or comments coming out of one's mouth, such as spitting, sticking the tongue out, back-talk, and the like.

Frustrated with her behavior, I searched online for some suggestions for dealing with the sassy stuff that didn't involve taping her mouth shut. I didn't get much of anything helpful from parenting websites (most of which tend to lean toward the "attachment" form of parenting, something I don't espouse.) But I did find a really interesting article for Sass on Wikipedia. Apparently, sassy behavior is much more broad than I previously thought.

Here are some examples of sassy behavior that would not make my list of sass:

Speaking in false tongues (or is that just creepy?)

Expelling flatulence in the presence of others (gross? Yes. Funny? Almost always. Sassy . . . no.)

Nose, ear, or belly button picking in public (again . . . gross.)

Cutting or biting finger or toe nails in public (gross . . . especially the toes. Who cuts their toenails in public?)

Scratching private parts (perhaps sass means gross in another language?)

Putting elbows on the table

Putting feet up or sitting back on a chair to "relax" (relaxing is sassy?)

Groaning when someone tries to speak (damn - I must be a real sassy bitch. I suppose eye-rolling is also sassy.)

Putting feet on a chair when someone is sitting in the chair

Sniffing your own armpits or crotch

Sniffing someone else's armpits or crotch (I guess the dog's name should be changed to Sassy)

Wiggling your bottom towards someone (I can't remember the last time someone wiggled their bottom at me. Next time I will be sure to call them on such bad behavior. After I stop laughing.)

Revealing your bare backside to someone (Yeah . . . you know who you are.)

Pointing towards a person (especially with one's middle finger) (Damn - guilty again)

Failure to use napkins

Licking the plate

Taking excessive food from a buffet, especially at a reception

Eating in the street

Waking up others when not otherwise instructed

Aggressive driving/road rage

Tailgating

Excessive honking

Gesturing at fellow drivers

Driving slowly while using a mobile phone

Littering

Smoking in public

Public urination

Eavesdropping

Exhibitionism

Vandalism

Staring at another person's bare private parts, especially when they are in the washroom

At least the article mentions that some of these things are illegal, as well as sassy. But, if these behaviors are classified as sassy, then it is not only my daughter who will spending a lot of time in time out.