Emotionally Needy Toys have three things in common: (1) they play music, sing songs, and light up; (2) they make noise when they have not been played with for 30 seconds; and (3) they make noise based on movement (such as when I walk by them and move the floor slightly). I am sure the toy manufacturers have installed these characteristics to be most appealing to children and least appealing to adults. Of course, the adults feel guilty about taking toys away from their children, especially when they are their favorite toys.
These toys are not happy just to be played with for a few minutes and then left behind. They feel they must be played with all the time, to the exclusion of all other toys. They get jealous in the toy box. They beat up on the just plain wooden toys (you know, the ones that spark a child's imagination, not just their love of loud noises and bright lights.) We had three of these toys in my house but I had to exterminate one of them. It was just too needy.
Meet the neediest Emotionally Needy Toy:
Looks perfectly cute and harmless, doesn't he? But this cute little puppy, Fisher Price's Laugh and Learn Learning Puppy, has serious issues. If you don't touch him for a few seconds, he lets out this sad plea, "HUG ME!" Frankly, I'm embarrassed for him. I keep waiting for him to say, "Love me, please, someone . . . LOVE ME! Come on . . . I'm deserving of love too . . . please?" He's like that geeky guy you just couldn't get rid of in high school. He'd ask you to every dance no matter how many times you turned him down.While I would have liked to get rid of this toy by chopping its head off and stomping on the computer chip, I thought it was a waste of money. So I donated him to charity. Maybe someone else has more patience for Emotional Neediness than I do. We kept two of our Emotionally Needy Toys, mostly because they are my son's favorite toys at the moment - a musical bongo drum and a jazzy keyboard. These toys aren't nearly as needy (the drum calls out, "Let's go, baby!" and the keyboard says, "Rock with me!") and they allow me a few minutes every morning to blow dry my hair in peace. Call it a compromise.
2 comments:
Hmmm... when I was a child my toys weren't emotionally needy, but I thought they were. I would rotate them in their spots, thinking they would get jealous of the one that got to sleep closest to me. (OMG, I was a narcissitic child).
Diane, that is a very good point. I had a toy that played music stored in my trunk one year (waiting for xmas) and it shifted, started playing music, and scared the bejesus out of me.
I have been purposely purchasing all the emotionally needy toys I can find for the grandbaby. Her mother is emotionally needy, afterall, so I thought it would make the grandbaby feel more comfortable with her toys. Now I am taking them all and looking at damn serial numbers for lead poisoning. We are now back to pots and pans for a while.
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