The Remote Drama

Yesterday, I had a few friends over in the afternoon. So, in the morning, I did a quick pick-up-all-the-clutter-and-shove-it-somewhere session. Friends arrived, we had a wonderful time, and later, the kid went to bed. Ahhhh . . . free time to unwind and fold laundry. In my house, it is necessary to watch TV while folding the laundry - they just go hand-in-hand.

I walk over the TV and turn it on (yes, I actually turn my TV on by using the button on the television set). Then I look for the remote so I can surf digital cable to see what my viewing choices are this evening. Now that my child is mobile, I have to hide the remote in, shall we say, remote places to keep him from pressing all the buttons and probably selecting some inappropriate adult programs to watch. But after checking all of my remote hiding places, I still can't find the remote.

So, I take all of the cushions off the couch, look under the couch, look in all the drawers and shelves in the TV room. No remote. I then expand the search to the rest of the first floor. Living room couches? No. Front hall closet? No? Dining room shelves? No. Kitchen counters? No. Refrigerator? No. Freezer? No. (Believe me, these last two are not out of the realm of possibility - I have found weird things in the fridge and freezer before.)

Then I go to the second floor. I don't have a TV on the second floor, but stranger things have happened. Bathroom? No. My bedroom? No. Baby's room? No. Linen Closet? No. What the hell?? So, I start the search all over again, convinced I have missed it. Nearly exhausted and determined not to change the channel by actually pushing buttons on the TV (and seriously not sure if I know how to work digital cable without the remote), I sit down and think about this logically.

Where is the remote usually? On the sofa in the TV room.

What did I do to the sofa in the TV room today? Straighten it for company.

What was on it? Pillows, socks, blanket, and . . . the newspaper.

What did I do with the newspaper? Threw it in the kitchen garbage.

Where did the kitchen garbage go? To the curb because tomorrow is garbage day.

Damn.

So, I am standing (in my pajamas) staring at the garbage can on the curb. I am seriously debating the desire to watch TV versus the desire to dig in the garbage can. I am thinking about the week's worth of garbage in that can (food, diapers, dog poop, paper products, cat litter). Then I think about how long it will take Insight to get a new remote to my house. Could be weeks. Then I think about Grey's Anatomy on Thursday night. I might have to miss it if I don't have a remote. I can't miss Grey's Anatomy. No way.

I found the remote. After a thorough spray with sanitizer, we are good to go.