I have already placed my order for the appropriately-sized straight jacket, protective eyewear, and industrial ear plugs.
My regular babysitter was over at my house last night. I love her dearly, as does my son. She is a really good babysitter but, unfortunately, she knows not what she has done.
When I arrived home last night, the babysitter said to me, "Oh, I discovered your son really loves Barney! We watched an episode from On Demand TV about manners. He loved the singing and was glued to the TV the whole time!"
I said, "Oh . . . great! I am so glad he had a good time." I paid her, let her out the front door, closed the door, placed my forehead on it and silently screamed. No, no, no, no, no, no, noooooo.
I really thought we could avoid the whole Barney situation in my house. I'm not anti-kids TV. I would be perfectly happy to have Elmo be a favorite, or Thomas the Tank Engine, or Rocket from Little Einsteins. But Barney? Please, no. I don't know what it is about Barney, but I just can't handle him and his friends. They are too happy, too nice, too sugar-sweet, too pandering to the lowest intelligence level, too . . . common.
(OK - I said it. Does that make me elitist? Maybe. But, seriously. My mental health is at stake here, people.)
So, you might ask, what makes Barney NQOCD but Elmo, Thomas, or Rocket QOC? I can't quite put my finger on it. But, like the Supreme Court and pornography . . . I know it when I see it.
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6 comments:
And for the next ten years or so John Jacob Jingle-Heimerschmidt will be rattling around in your head and blurt out when you least expect it. My condolences.
Oh, the horror..the horror. P.I., I feel so bad for you. I dread what my 12 month old is going to like as she gets older. So far, we have avoided the travesty that is Barney, but who knows what the future holds..All I can say is "I love you, you love me.." Hahahaha!! :o)
Just for you, my favorite super dee dooper Barney song. Your son will surely be singing this song soon.
I like to eat eat eat apples and bananas.
I like to eat eat eat apples and bananas.
I like it eat eat eat aeples and bananays
I like it eat eat eat aeples and bananays
I like to ite ite ite aeples and baninis
I like to ite ite ite aeples and baninis
I like to ote ote ote ipples and banonos
I like to ote ote ote ipples and banonos
You all suck. Thanks.
My mother-in-law did the same thing to me, when my kids were 2 and 3.
It wasn't Barney that I hated, but the kids. Oh, those kids, they are so saccharine.
PI, that was just mean!
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