Katie's latest post about her boyfriend joining the blogging world got me thinking: Which one of my household members will be the next one to start a blog?
I'm sure my two year and a half year old daughter's blog would be called "Tales of a Misunderstood Drama Queen." She would post daily, of course, to maximize the number of hits and the amount of attention. Her posts would include:
Monday Fun: how to convince your preschool teachers and mother you have fractured your knee and can no longer walk and must be carried around school and home for 24 hours.
Tuesday Follow-up: how to be extra cute and charming after doctor's appointment for said knee "injury" to avoid punishment for Monday Fun.
Princess Debate: Who's better - Cinderella or Belle?
IT'S CIRCLE TIME, DAMN IT!
My TOY, MINE!!
My 16 month old son's blog would be entitled, "Balls, Buses, and Bubbles" because those are his three favorite words. His posts would include:
My Favorite Things - Balls, Buses, and Bubbles
Why it is so Funny when I Stick My Finger Up My Mama's Nose!
Admit it, I'm Cute!
Ode to Goldfish Crackers
BUUUUUBBBBLE! BUUUUUBBLE!
The dog's blog would be called, "Because I Can and You Would if You Could." She wouldn't post that often because it would interfere with her nap schedule, but here are a few:
The Squirrel Conspiracy
What the Hell Did I Eat Last Night?
Out!
Principles of Strategic Shedding
Why the Postman is Evil and Must Be Destroyed
The cat probably wouldn't lower himself to blogging, but if he did, it would be called, ". . . And Your Little Dog Too!" His posts would be full of swear words and rants against "the establishment" and include:
Who are These People and Why are They Touching Me?
Why I am Better than the Rest of You
How Hard is It to Keep My Food Bowl FULL!?!?!
Wow. It is probably a good thing I have a laptop that is on a high shelf. Of course, since none of them can type, all of the entries would look like this:
s DUH;W8Q NAe f;o234q
sakjdf 23489 sdflgmj awer:oGT DFHP0ERU9QT
SDM,C WE4R9 ERGDK ;F VMWE R9-2 TNFGS
hklsdf 394t sdakl erg12=4 daf; a)tre xbg
qw[ kpSDF ;94T'KDAFGq912-]94813
RSDFAGsdf w3rt9hn ;sdf awrfolwet n'ujio
I think I am safe for now.
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7 comments:
Actually my seven year old asked if he could start a blog. We told him to write down his entries and we would think about it. I found one about how his family stinks (as in smells) and if you knew him (it's all boys here except me) you would know that it was true. It was absolutely hilarious and no, I don't stink. :)
This is so funny! I was wondering if our dogs would be the next to blog! I'm still waiting for Mr. Wonderful to start his!
LMAO! GREAT post, Chica!
:o)
PH,
Oh, gosh, that is hysterical! Thanks for starting off my otherwise shitty morning with a laugh. (My daughter is 13 and her blog would be right on par with your daughter's! Hopefully that doesn't scare you too much)
Jennifer
My almost 3 year old would so be with your daughter. Has she discovered Fancy Nancy yet?
Oh, she loves Fancy Nancy! My mom just gave her one of those books a month ago and we read it all of the time!
I figured she would be a fan.
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