Jesus Called Me a Twat!

I have a new addiction - Facebook Quizzes. Really. I can't stop taking them and everytime one of my friends takes one, I have to take one too. Mostly, they are really silly, which is probably why I like them so much. But I have a few favorites . . . .

Which type of woman are you? Lovely Lady - "Another problem is that you don't say your opinion when it's right and important to say it." (Yeah, right.)

Which kitchen utensil reveals the true nature of your sexuality? Wooden Spoon - "Over time, you may become a little warped but will always be adored by those who know you intimately."

What personality disorder do you have? Obsessive-Compulsive - "You can actually function quite well in society, except for the fact that your personality often makes your friends, family, and coworkers want to kill you!"

Who were you in high school? The stud - "Your locker smelled like dirty jocks, breath mints, and beer."

My prison bitch name is "Lips"

Which of your Chakras is most open? The Third Eye - "You value the opinions of those around you, but you'll always have the last word."

Which Beatles song are you? Maxwell Silver Hammer - "You are the real maverick. You are extremely energetic and have a quick mind. You have a strong business sense and desire power. Avoid the tendency to become ruthless and impulsive."

Which serial killer are you? Ted Bundy - "You definitely like the ladies, and nothing will stop you, even if it means going the extra mile by wearing a fake cast, or brandishing a puppy to gain the sympathy of an unsuspecting nurturing victim. You don't mind rolling up your sleeves and getting your hands a little dirty. You leave your mark everywhere, even if it is a bite mark!"

Which drug are you? Heroin - "you are pretty fucking and will stop at nothing to get some of your junk" (Part of the draw of these quizzes is the funny spelling and grammar errors . . . .)

What does Jesus think of you? Jesus thinks you’re a selfish bitch - "He just thinks you should stop being such a twat."

And my personal favorite:

Which crazy bitch are you? Sinead O’Connor - "You are one fierce bitch. You are very independent and will take no bullshit from anyone but your personality is actually sort of quiet and shy. You are a natural beauty and you are very comfortable with your femininity. You don't feel the need to overdo it or go out of your way to fuss over your looks. You don't want to distract people from what you stand for and the talents you possess. You are very idealistic and will go to any extremes to stand up for what you believe in even if it creates controversy and people don't understand. Relationships can be hard for you sometimes because men feel threatened by you but time again they come running to you and realize that you are actually very sweet and motherly . . . until they cross you."