Unfortunately, It Wasn't the First Time

Anyone who has had a son knows that it is very typical to get peed on many times before they are potty-trained. My son has only peed on me a handful of times, but the one yesterday was his greatest pee-accomplishment to date.

We spent most of the afternoon outside in the warm but not ungodly humid weather. I filled a couple of storage bins with water and let the kids have at it. (Yes, I suppose I could buy a wading pool but I just haven't gotten around to it. And really, for preschoolers, playing in any kind of water is fun. Who needs a wading pool? At some point, my daughter is going to notice that our neighbors all have wading pools and wonder why she only has a plastic storage bin full of water.)

Since they got to do just about anything they wanted, including making mud puddles and splashing in them, I made them strip naked before going into the house. We dropped the wet clothes and shoes in the front hallway and went straight upstairs to the bathroom for a bath. I turned the water on in the tub and got my son's dry clothes and a diaper. Then I realized I had forgotten to get my daughter's dry clothes and underwear from her room downstairs.

As I started down the steps, I looked back at the kids. They were both standing naked in the bathroom watching the tub fill up with water. I stopped and engaged myself in a risk analysis of the situation. It would literally take me less than 10 seconds to go down the rest of the stairs and get her clothes. What could happen in 10 seconds, really? After a split second, I thought, "What, are you crazy? What couldn't happen in 10 seconds with these kids??" So, I went back upstairs and stopped the water in the tub and let it drain out. Look at me . . . Ms. Safety Conscious Mom. No drowning today, kids!

I looked at both of them and said, "Mama's going downstairs to get some dry clothes. I will be right back. Don't go anywhere. Okay?" They both said, "Okay, Mama." And I ran down the stairs. I ran to my daughter's room, grabbed some clothes and underwear, and ran back to the stairs. Then I ran halfway up the stairs . . . .

Which was when I felt it.

A warm stream of liquid spraying across the right side of my forehead.

"AHHHHHH!" I shouted as the warm liquid continued down the side of my face, onto my neck and then down my arm. "What the hell?" I put my hand up to shield myself and looked to the source.

There was my 18 month old son standing against the railing above the stairs, pushing his penis between the rails and giggling at my reaction. I'm sure he was just standing there to see where I was going when I ran down the stairs, but it was a perfect position for him to just . . . let go. I don't think he has the capacity to plan to pee on his mother's head, but his delight in doing so has me a little worried.

In retrospect, I should have let the naked potty-trained child, who knows where her clothes and underwear are and has the capacity to get them, make the trip downstairs while I put the pee-monster in the bathtub.