Friday, August 29, 2008

I Am the Best Attorney EVER*

If you are currently being represented by counsel, or have been represented by counsel in the past, please consider this. Would your attorney walk up 30 flights of stairs to get to her office to appear at a telephonic hearing on your behalf because the elevators were broken in her office building?

No?

Well, I did. In three inch heels. Granted, it was more motivated out of fear of being held in contempt for failing to appear at the hearing, but still . . . I did it.

And it took me less than 10 minutes and I wasn’t sore afterwards, which is pretty damn good in my book.

*Disclaimer for the ethics police: The title of my post is not intended to assert or claim that I am, in fact, the best attorney ever. I am not the best attorney ever and neither are you. The title was intended to be eye-catching and humorous. Because I know you were born without the humor gene, I am explaining this to you so I don’t have to face a complaint based on what is just a funny little blog post. Besides, if athletic ability and fortitude were a prerequisite to being a good attorney, 75% of the attorneys in Illinois would fail miserably.

6 comments:

Katie said...

I am about 73% positive that the statistic in your post is 46% made up. Hopefully no one will call you on it, God willing! :)

Rixblix said...

Wow. All those stairs? In heels? You do realize you had about a 65% chance of falling, right? Thank heavens you didn't.

Anonymous said...

I;m thinking at 71 percent of bloggers with a shoe-fetish would pay cash to see a photograph of you in those heals.

Jimi said...

Wow, I'm 100% sure I'll call you if I ever need an attorney, provided it's in your specialty.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure you rock, Ms. PH

Anonymous said...

I am certain that I fall in the 75% category. And I knew your blog post title was in jest, as I am the best attorney EVER!

*Disclaimer for the ethics police: The claim in my response to this blog post is not intended to assert or claim that I am, in fact, the best attorney ever. I am not the best attorney ever. I am in the bottom 99% and am not the top 1% and I know it.