Tuesday, January 6, 2009

First Question of the Year

I would like someone to explain to me why we can't as a society seem to make a decent bathtub writing instrument. I'm absolutely serious about this question, people. How hard can it be to make an art product for children that actually works in the bathtub?

Really, really, really hard, as it turns out. I have tried a variety of options, tonight being the latest in a long string of bathtub writing instrument failures. The markers were too runny, the paints stained my tub, and kids get bored with "painting" with plain old water. Tonight, we tested the bathtub crayons. And, I'm not afraid to give my honest opinion on their performance . . .

They FUCKING sucked.

Not only did they fail to write appropriately on the bathtub, they broke in half after one usage, stained my bathtub, and turned the water a cloudy beige-grey color. Cloudy beige-grey with weird flecks.

Am I getting up in arms about something completely inconsequential and stupid? Yes. But, the mere mention of writing in the bathtub makes my daughter's dreams come true and . . . shocker . . . sometimes I like to make my children happy.

But Noooooooooooo.

Again, I have to explain to my child why I have thrown out another failed bathtub writing instrument that she became insanely attached to after one use, despite screaming bloody murder from frustration because they kept breaking and the white crayon didn't show up on the bathtub (Seriously Crayola? A WHITE bathtub crayon? Come. On.)

I'm probably going to really regret making this my first post of 2009.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maybe the white one is for those puke green tubs from the 70's. Or those fancy black bathtubs. Or glass shower doors. Or colored tile. Or the plumbing fixtures. I'm not being very helpful, am I?

Anonymous said...

No doubt any good ones would contain lead.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps some genius will see your post and be inspired to create what you are looking for, thus making the world a much better place.

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

Ok I know this is gonna sound weird, but since I havent met you yet I am just gonna assume this is ok." ) Body paint, the kind you use to you know body paint other adult people with works WONDERFUL in a bathtub! My kids love it. I have to have a special stash just for them. Also Just for Women makes these glow in the dark bubbles that I dont think are meant for kids but mine love them.

Cameron said...

Really, cuz our crayons work well (the ones the kids haven't lost anyway). Maybe we have different kinds. Our came in a pack of 8 or so, basically a crayon but instead of a paper cover, they have a plastic shell and it's got a little button to push the crayons further down as they get used it. They work great, clean up well and don't scuz up the water (any more than it already is).

Laura Petelle said...

Have you tried whiteboard markers? They clean right off bathroom surfaces like mirrors and bath surrounds and smooth porcealiny things. Try in an inconspicuous area first and make sure it erases, and lighter colors erase easier.

I used to study foreign language vocabulary in the shower with whiteboard-marker word lists written up on the tub surround.