Friday, August 24, 2007

The Day I Almost Killed My Boyfriend

Otherwise known as my 24th birthday. (That was more than 10 years ago, folks.) I was reminded of this story on Wednesday night when I was having dinner with the book club and Kate and I shared tiramisu. I told them I had a great tiramisu story and here it is.

The summer before I turned 24, I was dating this guy. It wasn't a perfect relationship for several reasons including the fact that he was 32, not quite divorced, had two kids, and was a recovering alcoholic. He had a lot of good qualities but mostly things I can't mention on my blog. It was a good summer relationship and lasted only two months past my birthday.

Anyway, on my 24th birthday, he took me to a nice Italian restaurant that served dishes primarily family style. In my opinion, it wasn't the best choice for a romantic dinner for two, but at that point in my life, it was enough for a guy to actually take me to a restaurant with waitstaff. After stuffing ourselves on dinner, the waiter asked us if we wanted dessert. Boyfriend encouraged me to order something because it was my birthday so I ordered the tiramisu. And that was my biggest mistake of the evening.

When the tiramisu arrived, I suddenly remembered it was a family style restaurant with family style portions. So here I sat with a vat of tiramisu in front of me. Seriously, it was in a bowl that was at least six inches in diameter. Boyfriend started to laugh and said, "I dare you to eat that whole thing." Well, there was no way I was going to eat the whole thing in front of him, so I told him that he better help me or the rest of his plans for the evening would be ruined because I wouldn't be able to move, much less . . . well, you know.

I placed the vat in the middle of the table and he took a big spoonful and stuck the whole thing in his mouth. That was his biggest mistake of the evening. When I asked him, "How is it?" He frowned, swallowed and said, "What's in it?" I replied, "Mostly custard or marscapone cheese, ladyfingers, and coffee liqueur. Why?" He said, "Well . . . that's the first taste of alcohol I've had in three years." Oh, shit. I thought I was the worst girlfriend ever because I had pushed my boyfriend off the wagon. However, before I could apologize, he said, "And I think we need to go to the ER."

I laughed at him and said, "Well, that's just a little bit of an overreaction, don't you think? I mean, they probably cooked the alcohol and you just had a little bit . . . ." He shook his head and said, hoarsely, "No . . . we have to go to the ER because I am allergic to the eggs in the custard and my throat is swelling up." The rest of my birthday was spent in the ER with a barely conscious boyfriend and a boatload of guilt.

As I said, we dated for two more months after my birthday. It was never going to be a long term relationship but it ended because he bought me a vase and claimed it was an antique. When I saw the exact vase in Pier One a week later, I called him on it. He called me crazy. That was pretty much the end.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great story!

Kevin Lowe said...

Now, that's tragically humorous. Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm... too bad my husband doesn't have any allergies. That would be a much faster than my current method = High cholesterol + extra mayo on all his sandwiches....

Anonymous said...

Whеn some onе ѕearches fοr
hіs necessary thing, therefoгe he/she needs to be aѵailablе that
in detail, thus that thing іs maintained οver here.


Feel free to visit my wеb-sitе: hilfe bei hämorrhoiden

Anonymous said...

I'm curious to find out what blog platform you'ге using?
I'm experiencing some minor security issues with my latest website and I would like to find something more safe. Do you have any recommendations?

my web page; http://Www0.Rdaprendizagem.net/oxwall/link/4035

Anonymous said...

Right away Ӏ аm rеady to do my brеakfast, when haѵing my breakfaѕt coming аgain tο геаd additiοnаl news.


Feel frее to ѵisit mу page :: ejakulation hinauszögern

Anonymous said...

Hey there! Someone іn my Facebook group shаrеd this site with uѕ sο I came to check
it out. I'm definitely enjoying the information. I'm bookmarkіng and will be tweеting thіs
to my followers! Fantastіc blоg and ѕuρerb style and design.


Feel free to surf to my web page; Alternative Medicine

Anonymous said...

When sоme one ѕeaгches for his requiгеd thing, thеrefore he/she desіres tο be availablе thаt in dеtаіl, thus
that thing is maintaіned ovеr here.



Feel free to visit my blog ρost BauchmuskelüBungen