Tick Tock Tick Tock

My father loves clocks. We have always had a lot of clocks in the house, including an antique mantel clock that donged every half hour. Or it was supposed to dong every half hour. The only day it was ever on time was Monday because my father wound it on Sunday nights. The rest of the week, it would slowly get off time. I never actually used this clock to tell time. Because I grew up hearing this clock every half hour, it never bothered me. However, guests always complain about the clock because it keeps them up at night.

In the last few years, the clock obsession has become more serious. There are at least two clocks in each room, not including the digital clocks that come with items such as the microwave, the DVD player, or the telephones. There are two mantel clocks now, one upstairs and one downstairs, which never agree on which time it is, but both dong every half hour. The only room that does not have any clocks is the dining room because it is poor form to remind your guests how long they have been enjoying their meals. My mother has limited his clock collection in most rooms, so the remainder of his new purchases line the wall in his bathroom. The bathroom has seven clocks, most of which have pendulums. It is a little dizzying trying to put on my makeup with seven clock pendulums swinging in front of my eyes.

So, needless to say, I was not surprised when I heard a new clock upon entering their house on Thursday night. This one is another mantel clock, but because there are no mantels left, it sits in the TV room. It's a nice looking clock but it is set on Westminster Quarters. Basically, it dongs every 15 minutes, with additional dongs at the top of the hour to signify the actual time. The conflict between this clock and the mantel clock is highlighted because they are less than 20 feet from each other, albeit in separate rooms. It is really hard to watch TV in my parents' house.

On Friday morning, my dad said to me, "What do you think of my new clock?" I said it looked great, just to avoid the repeated conversation about having too many clocks. I added, "It goes off every 15 minutes. Isn't that overkill?" My dad said, "It doesn't go off, it chimes the Westminster Quarters. I can set it to chime Ave Maria, if you like."

No, really, that's OK.