Wednesday, September 26, 2007

But, Your Honor . . . It Was My Destiny

The first sentence of a recent appellate court order:

Juliane Bang ran a prostitution business under the guise of a massage spa.

United States v. Bang, No. 06-3060, (7th Cir. Sept. 24, 2007). Well, with a name like that, what would you expect? She was predestined to do something, you know . . . a little off color.

Apparently, Ms. Bang purchased the Osaka Spa in Rockford, Illinois in October of 2004 and claimed she didn't know it was a front for prostitution. She thought it was a legitimate massage therapy business. Umm . . . did she purchase it without seeing the place? I have been in many legitimate massage therapy businesses and, although I have only seen prostitution businesses on TV, I am pretty sure it would be hard to mistake the two.

Needless to say, the Court affirmed her 18 month sentence for conspiring to use interstate facilities to aid a racketeering enterprise and conspiring to commit money laundering. Let that be a lesson to you all. Never purchase a massage therapy business sight unseen. You know . . . look under the hood, kick the tires, that sort of thing. It's just good business.

4 comments:

tsheets said...

...So, look under the hood, kick the tires of any prostitution...er "massage" business you are planning to purchase?? LOL Nice!!! I'll definitely keep that in mind if I'm ever in the market!

Anonymous said...

I think Ms. Bang had a perfectly reasonable explanation. I mean, it's not always easy to know who's a prostitute and who isn't.

I was thinking about buying my wife a gift certificate for the massage parlor on I80 near LaSalle. I've heard great things about it. Think she'll like it?

Ms. PH said...

PI - I know your wife was pretty understanding about the whole Boston hooker thing, but I'm not sure she would believe even you were naive enough to think that place is an actual massage parlor.

But, go ahead and try it. Tell me what she says.

Just don't try to buy the business and then claim you had no idea what it was. Doesn't go over well with the FBI.

Anonymous said...

Hmm... I've never seen the "massage parlor" near LaSalle, but does it happen to be near a truck stop? If so, how convenient, a place to get a quick bite to eat before a.... uh, massage.