Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Who Thinks Up These Things?

My computer at work kindly reminded me today that I needed to install certain software updates. So, being a good employee, I clicked "Install Now." Up popped this window that said, "Installing Windows Malicious Software Removal Tool."

It sounds so serious - malicious software removal. It sounds like a covert CIA operation or something. I started to think up other removal tools that would come in very handy. I wonder when Microsoft will get around to one of these:

Malevolent Man Removal Tool

Spiteful Waiter Removal Tool

Maleficent Neighbor Removal Tool

Vindictive Co-Worker Removal Tool

Shameless Self-Promotion Removal Tool

Rancorous Boss Removal Tool

Acrimonious Sister-in-Law Removal Tool

Horrible Television Commercial Removal Tool

Atrocious Breath Removal Tool

Appalling Manners Removal Tool

Dismaying Dirty Laundry Removal Tool

Heinous Haircut Removal Tool

Monstrous SUV Removal Tool

Mischievous Cat Removal Tool

Alarming Lateness Removal Tool

I would pay big bucks for all of those Windows updates. They might actually do something useful for a change.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I could have used the "Rancourous Boss Removal" about 3 months ago...
Ughhh...Can I still get a copy and hold on to it lest I should need at again?

Thanks, Ms. PH!

:o)
Jaded

Anonymous said...

I like how it says "Malicious" rather than just harmful. Isn't that anthropomorphizing computer software?

(I guess I can understand it when I give my dog human qualities, because by god, he's sneaky, but software? That seems a bit overboard)