Tuesday, November 18, 2008

My Typical Interaction with Facebook

I joined Facebook about six months ago because my 21 year old cousin said I should. Despite the 16 year difference in our ages, she insists I should try to be cool like her. When I joined Facebook, I looked around for people I knew and asked for several of them to be my friends. I immediately saw that my parents were both friends with my cousins, so I invited my parents to be my friends. My mother accepted by invitation right away.

My dad has still not accepted my invitation. I asked him about it saying, "Why won't you be my friend on Facebook?" My dad said, "Because I'm not your friend . . . I'm your father." My dad clearly doesn't understand the way Facebook functions.

Anyway, after my initial sign-up, I haven't done a lot of searching for friends. I have looked at everyone who says they graduated from the same high school, college, or law school that I did in the same year I did. The strange thing is that I don't know half of the people who say they graduated in my classes. I really, really don't remember them. And it is not like I went to huge schools. My college class was probably the largest, with about 400 people in it. There were only about 150 in my law school graduating class, so one would think I would recognize some of these people.

So, either because my memory sucks or because people are pretending to want to be my friend just to up their friend numbers, I get a fair number of Facebook emails from people I don't recognize. I just got another one over the weekend. My reaction to this one is pretty typical.

Facebook: Jane has added you as a friend on Facebook. We need to confirm you know Jane in order for you to be friends on Facebook.

Jane: "You may not recognize my married name, but you'd know me if I said my maiden name was Smith. :) How are you Miss Smarty-Smarty Lawyer Pants?"

Me: Who the fuck is Jane? (I am able to rule out her belonging to my law school class because, as a general rule, lawyers don't address each other as "Miss Smarty-Smarty Lawyer-Pants.)

Facebook: To confirm this friend request, follow the link below.

Me: Okay . . . follow the link. Now, I am reading the friend request and it says we have one friend in common. Click on that link. I see the one friend we have in common is a friend from my pre-law school days. Really, just a drinking-partying-doing-stupid-stuff friend, but we bonded quite a few times over shots, so she and I have become friends on Facebook.

Me: So, I still have no idea who Jane is. I suppose I might as well accept her friend request. She clearly thinks she knows me. And it is driving me crazy because I can't place her from her blurry-shot-in-a-bar profile picture. Click on confirm.

Facebook: Don't you want to see how many people you know in common?

Me: No. Click on profile pictures. Scan through pictures of kid, husband, dog, house, kid, kid, kid, husband . . . the very last picture is Jane with her husband and kid and I actually recognize her. OHHHHH . . . JANE!

Me: (writing on Jane's Wall) Hey! How are you? What are you doing in PA? You have a cute kid!!

Then, I figure my Facebook obligation is over. She and I are now friends, she can look at my profile and all my pictures, comment on a few, send me a few stupid drink requests or plants or best friend awards, and the whole thing will die off soon enough.

Notsomuch.

Jane: "Hello!!! So glad to see you on fb! I've found more people that I thought I'd never see again (all good--- you included! :) ). Yes, we live in PA---and are ready to move on. We love where we live, but jobs for husband have all but dried up in this area. [The baby] is 15 months now and becoming quite a handful. She's just incredible and worth the wait, let me tell you. Looks like you've been busy reproducing as well, yes? I'm so impressed with your job--you scored! how's the family?"

Well, that was probably more information than I needed, thanks Jane. That's exactly what I tell people when they ask what I've been doing for the last 10 years . . . reproducing and lawyering. Little bit here, little bit there . . . whatever.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am beginning to understand a little more each day why my 22 yr old deleted his Facebook account, especially when he said he wanted to be able to get a job when he graduated and not have employers google him and come up with drunk pics and comments from drunk friends.... and you confirmed why I deleted mine a year ago... yah, Facebook.... not so much! Especially when it comes to relatives, best to keep those people on the down low!

Katie said...

Reproducing? Lovely.

I love when you have a friend that send invites to stuff by the hand-fulls every week on Facebook. It's like friendly spam that I kinda feel bad for deleting.

snicketmom said...

I, too, am new to the facebook and encountering some of the same things. I accept people I don't remember as my friend because I don't want to be a snob, but they write religious stuff on my wall and invite me to join things. It's getting pretty annoying. Thanks for accepting me as your facebook friend btw.

Anonymous said...

OMG hysterical!! That is sooooo Facebook! I promise not to send you that crap though!

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

I still don't really "get" facebook? I have tried and have failed miserably. I am just chalkin it up to me sooo not being cool. : )

Emerge Peoria said...

I'v never done facebook, I'm chalking it up to me being too cool.:)

Anonymous said...

I just joined facebook three days ago because of our business. I was going to hold out and not join and be cool like Emerge (keep up the good fight) but a business friend of mine here in Peoria hooked up with a client in Washington (state not city) because he was on facebook. He also has been contacted by another client out of state due to facebook. Long story short, I hope it's another avenue for business. That being said, Kara and I were just talking, what happens when someone you don't like at all asks to be your friend? It hasn't happened yet but I can see a couple people asking. Do you totally give them the shaft?

Randall said...

Funny, my 22 yr old kid got me to join Facebook. I could have wrote this as "friends" are coming out of the woodwork.


BTW, would you be my friend? lol

Mahkno said...

I don't see the appeal of Facebook and MySpace. The content is mostly drivel. Yeah dumping embarrassing stuff on either site is stupid. It's also stupid to put anything embarrassing on the net in the first place. I have an account on both as place holders but I really don't see the appeal of either.

Rixblix said...

I made a MySpace account when I started working at the Safe School. I wanted to see what all the hoopla was about...almost all my "friends" are students or former students. It's been a funny way to keep up with them once they leave my program. It's also been enlightening to see what they're up to...if I ever let my kids have a MySpace page, you can bet I'll be checking it daily.

I started Facebook after my BFF from college talked me into it. I was just looking at it again last night and a few high school friends have found me. I'm a little freaked out because I think they might try to Jesus me. I've noticed that a couple of them are "Sisters in Christ".

Vodka Mom said...

oh sweet jesus. I'm on Facebook - strictly to FREAK out my teenage daughters. Anything that pisses them off is okay in my book. I'm just sayin'.